Why Editing is like a Toothbrush

The other day I realised it’d been far too long since I’d given my teeth a proper deep clean.

I pulled out my weapons of torture (toothbrush, electric toothbrush, floss, tongue cleaner, mouthwash, and every other conceivable item) and set to work.

Courtesy of stock.xchng

Almost look like pens....

I flossed, brushed, brushed again, examined, poked my gums, gargled, and took the opportunity to stare at myself in the mirror. All the while I was thinking – daydreaming, really – about monkeys and zebras and quills and this blog.

Yup, this very blog.

Why do I limit myself to mainly writing about writing? I wondered. It’s my blog. I could write anything. What if my true calling is to write about teeth, and my single mindedness means I’m forever missing out?

Anna Harte, tooth cleaner. I considered the proposition. Then realised: I couldn’t just write about brushing teeth. There would have to be a deeper meaning. Something like — I spat out a white froth of mouthwash — the fact that no matter how much you clean, your teeth will never be 100% dirt-free.

Almost like a novel, in fact.

An editor at Random House once told me: “There is no such thing as the perfect book.” No matter how much you clean and inspect and proofread your novel, mistakes will get through.

Just like your teeth, your novel needs diligent cleansing. You may not catch every mistake, but you’ll stop them from multiplying into infections and cavities.

Do you want your novel to spend hours under the drill, being tortured and prodded and filled with amalgam?

No? I thought not. So pick up your editing toothbrush and get to work.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how my non-writing related post turned into one about writing. I suppose I’ve found my calling after all….

LONDON COLD SNAP KILLS 42 ZOMBIES

Brrrrr!

Courtesy of stock.xchng

LONDON, United Kingdom – A bout of severe, snowy weather has left at least 42 zombies dead as the second snowfall of the year hits the capital. Officials are taking extra precautions to protect the zombies, dozens of whom froze to death on the streets of London during last week alone.

Nearly 300 zombies sought defrosting procedures from University College London Hospital, with scores of hospitals overrun by the heat-seeking undead.

Emergency officials have said many of the zombies are homeless, and desperate for heat and nourishment. 800 shelters have been opened to provide shelter and brain-substitute burgers, but authorities are struggling to communicate with the zombies, whose cognitively impairments are exacerbated by the cold.

Unable to locate the shelters, many zombies are seeking protection in phone booths and tube stations. Oxford Circus and Bond Street stations were indefinitely closed after twelve commuters were injured in a zombie incident. All twelve have been inoculated and will be under quarantine for 72 hours.

The extreme weather comes at a bad time for undead rights group ZombieAid, who are currently lobbying Parliament to classify zombies as ‘non-human persons’ in order to accord them with basic human rights.

Police are appealing the public to keep zombie relatives indoors and to take care when travelling through the city.

Valentine’s Special: Get Hungry For You FREE

Feeling the love?

NO? How about if you check out that sexy zombie on the right?

I’m celebrating Hungry For You’s first birthday… by giving away FREE books!

That’s right, for Valentine’s Day you can download Hungry For You for free from the Kindle store.

The giveaway will run throughout February 13th and 14th, so feel free to pass the message on to any Kindle-owning-friends.

Grab your copy today from Kindle US or Kindle UK.

UPDATE: So, Amazon effed up and has not put the book up for free yet. The promotion will, however, run as planned tomorrow (February 14) — so bookmark the page today, and download it tomorrow! Teaches me to not schedule posts ahead of time….

Where Story Ideas Come From

Where do you get your ideas?

It’s a question I’ve been asked time and time again, and really the only honest answer is Neil Gaiman’s: “I make them up. Out of my head.”

Ideas are a dime a dozen. They cling to every surface like soap suds — shivering, translucent, on the wrong side of delicate.

Yes: writing stories is like blowing bubbles. Sometimes your ideas burst on close inspection, other times you try and try but only produce lame-ass soap sprays.

The true true magic isn’t finding an idea, it’s growing one into a full-sized bubble. And the most magical moment of all is when you finish that story, that bubble, and release it into the air to travel further than you ever could.

Because it’s not where you come from, it’s where you are going that matters.

7 Ways to Start Writing Again

It’s every writer’s nightmare: you’re halfway through that story, the words are flowing, the characters witty, the plot twisty… and then disaster strikes:

You stop writing.

Whatever the reason, you stop writing. The story languishes half-written on your hard drive, and every passing day is another nail in the coffin. The characters become dim two-dimensional figures, their motivations faded, their personalities cracked.

Your story is a failure.

…or IS it?

In Episode 11 of Webfiction World, I look at abandoned stories and how to get back into the habit of writing. Joining me is author Becka Sutton, who has never missed an update in two years of writing online serials. While the podcast focuses on writing serial online fiction, much of the advice and commentary can apply to writing at large.

Why do people stop writing?

I’ve been there: I abandoned Above Ground.

Halfway through writing, I looked at the first chapters and realised they sucked. My writing — and my understanding of the characters and their motives — had developed so much that the first chapters were painful. I was ashamed of them. And as soon as that thought stuck, it was over. I couldn’t face going back and editing, couldn’t face continuing.

I stopped writing.

Your reason may be different. You may have run out of momentum, run out of ideas. Your plot isn’t meaty enough, your characters wander aimlessly; there’s nothing to say.

Or you’ve launched ahead without an outline and written yourself into a corner. There are gaping plot holes, pointless scenes, and you completely forgot to introduce the bomb that plays a pivotal role in the climax.

Or it could be something even simpler: lack of time. If you don’t have a routine, it’s easy to fall out of the rhythm of writing. As Becka Sutton wisely says, “It’s very hard to make a good habit, but once you break it, it tends to stay broken.”

Whatever your reason, don’t worry: you can bring your story back to life. All it takes is dogged determination, something which all writers should have in spades.

7 Ways to Start Writing Again

  1. Make it a habit. Set aside a time each day or week. Put your butt in the chair. Write. Doesn’t matter what you are writing, as long as you write. Get into the routine of writing before your tackle that unfinished story.

  2. Outline. The pantsers amongst you will be cringing, but this is the best way to avoid writing yourself into a corner. It can have as much or as little detail as you want, so long as you have enough to keep going.

  3. Write to deadlines. Set yourself small, achievable targets. One chapter a week, 300 words a day; you decide. The pressure of a deadline, and the satisfaction of meeting it, helps maintain motivation.

  4. Peer pressure. Find some enthusiastic readers who’ll pester you for more. It’ll be harder to abandon the story when doing so disappoints more than just your muse.

  5. Start from scratch. If your abandoned story isn’t working, go back to the start. Make outlines, fill in the plot holes, pin down the character motives, trim or expand upon the story as needed. Make it work — then start writing.

  6. Keep a buffer. If you are writing to deadlines (whether posting online or otherwise), build up a buffer. You want to write a chapter a week? Great: have four in reserve. That way if you’re sick one week, you won’t beat yourself up for having missed a deadline.

  7. Post online. If you really find it hard to finish a story, consider posting it online. I’d started and abandoned three novels before I turned to webfiction. When I finally did, the combination of peer pressure, regular deadlines, and reader interaction gave me the motivation I couldn’t find alone.

How do you keep yourself writing? What would you recommend to those looking to get their butt back in the writing chair?