LONDON COLD SNAP KILLS 42 ZOMBIES

Brrrrr!

Courtesy of stock.xchng

LONDON, United Kingdom – A bout of severe, snowy weather has left at least 42 zombies dead as the second snowfall of the year hits the capital. Officials are taking extra precautions to protect the zombies, dozens of whom froze to death on the streets of London during last week alone.

Nearly 300 zombies sought defrosting procedures from University College London Hospital, with scores of hospitals overrun by the heat-seeking undead.

Emergency officials have said many of the zombies are homeless, and desperate for heat and nourishment. 800 shelters have been opened to provide shelter and brain-substitute burgers, but authorities are struggling to communicate with the zombies, whose cognitively impairments are exacerbated by the cold.

Unable to locate the shelters, many zombies are seeking protection in phone booths and tube stations. Oxford Circus and Bond Street stations were indefinitely closed after twelve commuters were injured in a zombie incident. All twelve have been inoculated and will be under quarantine for 72 hours.

The extreme weather comes at a bad time for undead rights group ZombieAid, who are currently lobbying Parliament to classify zombies as ‘non-human persons’ in order to accord them with basic human rights.

Police are appealing the public to keep zombie relatives indoors and to take care when travelling through the city.

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3 thoughts on “LONDON COLD SNAP KILLS 42 ZOMBIES

  1. You know….

    I am fairly sure that once the zombie-cicles thaw out they will start twitching and biting again. I have it on completely rumored authority that zombies from the neo-classic era have thawed out and attacked the archeologists trying study them.

    Sebashi ~ Loves completely made statics and cheesecake

    • I don’t know about that. I’m operating under the assumption that it’s a virus… and given that it thrives in rotting meat, I’d reckon the virus’ optimum temperature is fairly warm/high.

      Sooooooooo if the zombies are frozen, the virus is killed off, and all you’re left with is a dead-dead corpse.

      Or at least, that’s the basis of this invented news piece =)

  2. Hmm…

    But we know that certain bacterium can survive for decades in the frozen tundra.

    On a more Op-ed note: Can a zombie really die? The people want to know!

    Sebashi ~ Not a fan of zombies or penguins, still loves cheesecake

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