Nokia, Goodbye

Goodbye to my Nokia,
that trustworthy rock!
It was bulky and sturdy
and dad said “It’s time we
upgraded, updated,”
and I thought, no way did
my father insult it!
It’s vintage, it’s purty,
Who cares if it’s dirty?
It’s simple design has
always worked fine!
Ah Nokia, ah Nokia,
how can dad not see a
master of engineering,
how you keep persevering
despite bangs and crashes
from drunken mad dashes?
You’ve lasted six years,
you’re a survival pioneer!

Then I met Xpress,
a phone quite complex,
which now comes
with camera and colour,
and touchscreen, recorder…
It says I should upgrade,
it says my phone’s decayed
and useless! How ruthless
of Xpress to suggest lest
I ditch my old phone
my social life’s blown.
Well I’m going to upgrade
to the Xpress 58-hundred,
send my old phone to bed,
so now three cheers
to my Nokia dear,
wipe the tear from my eye
and say Nokia, goodbye!

I have a new phone, and was feeling silly.
Yes, my new phone is also a Nokia. Shh.
Inspired by a childhood nursey rhyme.

A LONE BAKER

They tumbled out of her apron and on to the counter—twenty of them, thirty, he wasn’t sure. They looked so innocuous lying there on the counter, the very same counter upon which he rolled out his bread every morning. Rob just stared, gnarled hands ready for action, his fingertips gripped tightly around the handle of a serrated bread knife.

Nothing. No movement. It was hard to believe these were the very same pests that were infesting local stores, where innocent shoppers picked them up without realizing. Every single shop had succumbed to the infestation except his bakery, and now here he was with thirty of them on his own turf. He’d have to scrub the counter for hours to get it clean.

Rob scowled at the girl. “How dare you bring these… these monsters here!”

She had the audacity to shrug. “Everyone else’s got them.”

“I am not everyone else. I refuse to be brainwashed and stand idle while they take over the world. My bakery has standards. I thought you understood that when I hired you last week.” When she just shrugged again, Rob threw his hands up in disgust. Young people these days had no common sense.

“I’ll take them away then, yeah?”

“Yes. Now!”

Rob could not watch her gather the pests back up into her arms, could not watch the way they rolled limply, feigning innocence. He wasn’t going to be fooled; their diminutive size in no way lessened the evil they carried. He waited with his back turned until he heard the tinkle-tinkle of his shop door opening and closing, then let out a long sigh. Their influence was growing daily. His shop assistant had been clean the week before when he’d hired her—all the tests had come back negative. Now she too had succumbed.

Rob shook his head and turned back around, only to freeze in disgust. She’d forgotten one. It was in the corner of the counter, half-tucked behind an empty bread basket. He stared at it, could hardly bring himself to touch it, but the curiosity won through. He had to know how they were doing it, how they were brainwashing the townsfolk into singing their praises.

Rob used the tip of his knife to prod the pest into the centre of his counter. It moved along obligingly, and came to a rest upright, staring at him. There was no time to hesitate: he brought his knife down hard and sliced through the beast’s exoskeleton—or what he thought was the exoskeleton. It had the same composition all the way through to the middle: a spongy body studded with hard white squares. He almost stopped breathing. What manner of beast was this?

He crouched down, brought his face level with the dissected parts. Rob hated to admit it, but looking at this cut up pest he could feel Mother Nature’s guiding touch. Its body, its scent…. It was perfectly engineered to seduce mankind. And the pests continued to develop, to evolve, each generation even more perfect than the last, to the point that Rob felt sure even he would soon be under their thrall.

He was but a simple baker: what he could he do to stop their advance? His wife…. She would have known what to do, would have had a weapon up her sleeve to fight back. But all Rob could do was stare at this sliced up monster and wonder whether he was better off giving in and letting them take their rightful control over his shop. He was nothing without his wife—all of a sudden the solitude of being the last man standing overwhelmed him, and Rob sank down to his knees and wept.

Through his tears he could smell the scent of the sliced-up beast, enticing even after death, sweet like chocolate and smooth like banana. Rob struck out angrily and scattered the body across the shop floor, one last moment of defiance. Tomorrow he would submit to their dominion, but for now—for now…. He stood up, walked around the counter, and ground the pest’s body into the floor.

The tinkle-tinkle of the door announced the shop girl’s return. She took in the scene quietly, glancing from his face to the floor.

Then she shrugged. “Get with the times, gramps. They’re just muffins.”

Written for alphabete
(“chocolate chip banana muffin takes over the world”)

Web Series Writing Month!

Web Series Writing Month 2010

WeSeWriMo’s 4th birthday fast approaches.

I’ve never taken part before. I was a rebel NaNoWriMo participant last November (working, as a matter of fact, on my webfiction), but sadly life issues got in the way and I never completed my goal.

This August I have the chance to challenge myself again, and this time alongside a group of like-minded writers of online fiction.

The only question that remains: will you join the party, too?

MCM’s Summer Train revisited

A while back I posted a short story MCM had written for me as part of his challenge to write 1,000 short stories this summer.

As MCM currently has writer’s block suck, and I have writer’s block distraction, I thought to kill two birds with one stone by making an audio version of the story he wrote for me. If this doesn’t cure him, nothing will.

 

Read the text to Summer Train here — and if you click the “Like” button, you’ll make two people happy.

Publishing Without Publishers: A closer look at Stephen King

To the unenlightened, the word ‘e-publishing’ immediately brings to mind vanity publishing, where (awfully written) rejected manuscripts find their home. With the growing number of independent authors who consciously choose to self-publish online (yours truly included), this perception is hopefully being changed. Take for example Graham Storrs’ amazing ebook TimeSplash, or MCM’s entire publishing venture. Great fiction, and not published by commercial powerhouses.

However, electronic publishing need not be limited to the lesser known authors. Given the global reach of the internet, it seems obvious that an author with an already established fan base would find e-publishing a viable alternative to print. However, to my knowledge as of yet few famous authors have focused their attention on the e-publishing route. But I did a little digging on one famous author who has: Stephen King.

As far as I’m aware, Stephen King was the first prominent best-selling author to attempt exclusively web-based publishing. His debut in the field of electronic publishing was the novella Riding the Bullet published March 2000 in association with Simon & Schuster. Riding the Bullet is a 16,000 word story of Alan Parker, who is hitchhiking to see his dying mother and is picked up by a mysterious stranger. During the drive, Alan discovers a terrible secret about the stranger, and must make a difficult choice, a choice that can mean life or death.

The novella was at first exclusively available online to ebook and PC users, in a downloadable format for a fixed price of $2.50. Funnily enough, Stephen King himself, as a Mac owner, could not download his own book! As a publicity stunt, the ebook was freely downloadable for the first week of its release, with the result that the web servers hosting the novella were overloaded by the sudden surge of traffic and crashed. While a headache for the web servers, the crash was a clear sign of popularity, and over 100,000 internet users bought the ebook. The ebook is still for sale online today.

The novella was a definite sign of success for both Stephen King and his publisher. Riding the Bullet was deemed to be the dawn of a new era, and of the growing importance of ebooks. However, the venture was not entirely problem free: the ebook was originally encrypted to prevent both printing and electronic copying and thus protect the story from copyright violations, but hackers cracked the feature within hours of its release. Unencrypted PDF files made their way onto numerous websites, and are still accessible today. While the monetary losses were likely negligible given that many booksellers had given the novella away for free, it did raise concerns about piracy issues with electronic formats.

It is due to these very concerns that Stephen King’s following attempt at e-publishing was based on an entirely different business model, and he attempted publishing a serial novel on his own website. It is possible that Stephen King assumed it would be a more lucrative pricing model, as it was back in the 19th century when used by Dickens and other authors, although the author claims that financial returns were only a secondary interest to his attempt.

Thus Stephen King began to publish his serial novel The Plant, a story about an editor working at a publishing house. The editor rejects a rather odd manuscript, and, unsettled by the realistic photographs which accompanied the manuscript, gives the police the author’s address. Enraged, the author sends the editor a mysterious plant, and horror ensues.

Stephen King was actually recycling material, as he had actually begun writing The Plant back in the 1980’s, sending what later became the first instalment to his friends in lieu of a Christmas card. He put the first part on his website, available for anyone to download, and asked people to pay $1.00. The payment was entirely based on an honour system, and with the incentive of future updates should a certain target be met. There were supposed to be thirteen instalments total. On his website, Stephen King outlined his payment plan: the first three instalments would cost $1.00, parts four to eight would cost $2, and all subsequent updates would be free of charge, capping the total book cost at $13.00.

Over 150,000 users downloaded the first instalment, and 120,000 paid. For the first three instalments, the target was met. To offset the increased price of subsequent updates, Stephen King doubled the update length from 27 to 54 pages. However, with the fourth instalment, the total number of downloads fell to 40,000, and the number of paying readers dropped to 46%. The drop in numbers may have been partially due to multiple downloads by the same user for different platforms, whether their laptops, e-readers, or phones, but the rising costs most definitely were a factor as well. The fifth instalment followed much the same route, possibly exacerbated by the fact that Stephen King had warned readers of the situation and there was a growing expectation that the book would remain unfinished. Ultimately Stephen King posted the sixth part for ‘free’ to reward users who had paid for the first three parts. He then abandoned the novel to complete other projects, promising to eventually return to the story.

Outsiders blamed the project’s outcome on untrustworthy readers who wouldn’t comply to the honour system, and from the publisher’s perspective, The Plant was considered a failure. After all, 40,000 downloads–whilst a sizeable number–hardly compared to his millions of print readers. Yet the New York Times claimed that The Plant failed not because e-publishing wasn’t viable, but because King did not understand his readership, and that his novels were not made for serialization; a ridiculous claim considering the success of King’s serialized version of The Green Mile, which had dominated the New York Times’ bestseller list for weeks.

Stephen King had an entirely different outlook on the matter. He views the venture as a success, stating that while the revenue generated is not big in the context of the bookselling market, The Plant is not a book. It had no printing cuts, publisher costs, or agent fees. His business model simply needed tweaking.

[EDIT] In July 2008, King experimented with a brand new business model with his short story N, brought to life as a video series that combined story, film, and comic book styles. Of the venture, King said, “I’m always interested in new delivery systems for stories, and always curious about how those systems work with the old story-telling verities. This one, it seems to me, works extraordinarily well.”

In February 2009, Stephen King, working in conjunction with Amazon, released an ebook available exclusively on the Kindle, priced at $2.99. The novella, UR, follows a college professor who, via his pink Kindle, finds a newspaper that tells of a future event he feels compelled to forestall. While Amazon was tight-lipped about its success, there were rumours that the sales of the ebook reached ‘five figures’ within three weeks. Over a year later, the ebook remains in the top 200 paid bestsellers list and they’ve actually upped the price to $3.75.

The publishing industry may be scorning authors who shun tradition and self-publish online today, but I remain hopeful. We’ve just got to keep on tweaking.